Maid in Manhattan Does Not Disturb
Maid in Manhattan Does Not Disturb
In many ways, J-Lo fans are like Star Trek fans actually. Oh,
they don't wear horned-rim glasses, pocket protectors, and spend inordinate
amounts of time in basement science labs. Actually, most "Trek" fans
are not like that either. Not really. But fans of the singer-actress Jennifer
Lopez do love to dress like her, collect her merchandise, follow all aspects
of her life. Oh, and they know J-Lo trivia like Trekkies can spout Klingon Bird
of Prey statistics.
How do I know this? I attended a recent preview screening of J-Lo's new romantic
comedy, Maid in Manhattan. It was one of those radio station premieres
where the DJs go to the front of the theater, promote their station's format,
and then give away a bunch of prizes to the various contest winners and invited
guests in the audience. To get a prize at the Maid in Manhattan premiere,
you had to answer a J-Lo trivia question. They started out easy, like "Who
is Jennifer's fiancie?" and "What movie did she appear in with George
Clooney?" And the J-Lo fans descended on the poor DJs like urak-hai warriors
at Helm's Deep. But the prizes were many, as were the trivia notes on J-Lo's
life. An eternity later, the station was STILL up there asking the woman's fans
questions. By the time the DJ got down to "What is J-Lo's favorite toothpaste?"
and "What color are her panties?" I was truly ready to put a gun to
my head.
AND I STILL HAD THE MOVIE TO WATCH!!!
The best thing I can say about Maid in Manhattan is that it didn't make
me want to spill my brains out on the cineplex wall. Hey, how's that for a critic's
quote?! Why don't they make movie newspaper ads like that? Right under Pat Collins
of WWOR-TV's "The Best Romantic Comedy Since 'Pretty Woman'" gush,
it could read: "Didn't make me want to blow my head clean off my shoulders"--Ted
Durgin, www.flickville.com.
Seriously, I was teetering, folks. I was prepared for the worst. Not only was
I strapped in and flinching for what looked like your usual romantic comedy/misshapen
pair/Cinderella knockoff, I was going to be seeing 100 minutes of Jennifer Lopez,
who is currently the most overexposed woman in the media world. Only September
11 has gotten more ink than J-Lo's penchant for playing musical boyfriends.
If I see another photo of her and Affleck, or I hear another interview where
she wants people to call her "Jenny, from around the block," I'm gonna
throw up! Wherever I am, I'm gonna unleash a horizontal yawn the likes of which
haven't been seen since Linda Blair shot pea soup out all over Jason
Patric's father.
But the opening credits let me in on a few hints that this latest movie might
be a cut above the rest. J-Lo's leading man was to be Ralph Fiennes,
last seen cutting the eyes out of families of four in Red Dragon. The
supporting cast was to include a few of my favorite character actors, namely
Bob Hoskins, Stanley Tucci, and Natasha Richardson. And
the film's director was listed as Wayne Wang, who made The Joy Luck
Club into such a witty surprise several years ago.
Maid in Manhattan tells the story of Marisa Ventura (Lopez), who works
as a housekeeper in one of New York's top-flight hotels. She is a single mom
with a 10-year-old son (Tyler Posey) and little else. Stereotype? You
betcha.
But Lopez does a good job making of us believe we are watching a blue-collar
woman down on her luck, and Wang walks the line between telling his story in
a fairly believable manner and turning his film into a J-Lo worship piece.
Fiennes plays Christopher Marshall, an unhappy political candidate who mistakenly
sees Marisa in the hotel and thinks she is a guest like him. He is instantly
smitten, and a romance soon blossoms. But Marisa doesn't tell him she is just
a maid, because she doesn't want the fairy tale to end.
But, hey, it's a Hollywood formula romantic comedy, so I don't have to lay out
the details of the rest of the plot here now to you, do I? We can all probably
recite them together.
I honestly couldn't find anything heinously wrong with this movie. But then
again, I also couldn't find anything special about it either. Yeah, it was kind
of interesting to see Fiennes in a role the public doesn't ordinarily see him
in. This could have been just a collect-a-paycheck part for the former Schindler's
List star. But Fiennes is such an interesting guy to watch, that you go
along for the ride.
Still, the movie isn't especially funny or dramatic or profound or really anything.
I appreciated that it didn't try and jerk tears out of me. There is a slick
professionalism to the production that makes it pleasant to watch. And even
Wang with all his artistic sensibilities knows the importance in a Jennifer
Lopez film of giving us a few good (albeit clothed) J-Lo ass shots. Most of
my guy friends really dig Lopez's rather shapely posterior. I guess I do, too.
I ain't sayin' I want to see "Maid in Manhattan: The IMAX Experience."
That would be frightening.
The Ass That Ate Gotham! But, hey, there is still a place for lowest-common-denominator
entertainment.
People often ask me, "Teddy, why does Hollywood keep making the same movie
over and over again?" And I usually answer them with a reply that resembles:
"Well, Hollywood makes most movies for the teenage audience, who have the
disposable income to see a lot of movies every year. Think back to when you
were a teenager and saw your first romantic comedy or your first action film
or your first sci-fi flick.
There were plenty of movies in those genres before you were born that told the
exact same story. There will be a ton more flicks like that after you're dead
and gone." My point? If you haven't seen a romantic comedy or only watched
a few here and there, "Maid in Manhattan" is new to you.
"Maid in Manhattan" is rated PG-13 for language and mild sexual references.
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